Filing for divorce is a difficult decision. If the situation escalates or you fear for your physical safety, making the decision to divorce becomes easier. As each marriage differs, so does each divorce. Economic and family issues also play a role in the decision. Perhaps the best way to decide whether divorce is the right route is by considering the pros and cons of staying married versus filing for divorce. People file for divorce because they are unhappy, but others might find themselves just as unhappy after a divorce.
Gains and Losses
Financial gains and losses are the easiest to discern. The emotional gains and losses are harder to quantify. If you cannot think of any emotional gains, including any type of intimacy, whether sexual or emotional, divorce may be your best option.
If your spouse causes financial and emotional problems due to substance abuse, gambling, or similar issues, you may see no way out besides divorce. Unless your spouse commits to treatment and decides to reform, there is little you can do.
Infidelity ends many marriages, but unfaithful spouses may also seek forgiveness. The other spouse does not know whether they can ever trust the person they married again. This is another hard choice that only the injured spouse can make.
Planning for a Single Life
Put together a plan for a potential single life. Where would you live? Are you financially independent from your spouse, or would you have to rely on some form of spousal support? If there are minor children in the marriage, consider co-parenting arrangements. Also keep in mind that a court approves custodial agreements and relocating may interfere with these agreements.
Time to Yourself
Try to carve some time out for yourself so you can focus on your decision. If you cannot get away for a weekend, take a long walk in the park or some other quiet place. This decision impacts you and others, so either way, you must feel comfortable that your choice is correct.
Many people benefit from professional counseling when contemplating divorce. When both spouses are amenable, couples counseling is available, but a spouse can seek advice from a licensed marital counselor, even if going alone.
Contact our New Jersey attorneys at (856) 512-1461 for your free consultation.