There may be valid reasons why you do not want your spouse to know that you are speaking with a divorce lawyer. You may need to prepare yourself for a divorce in many ways, and you may not want to tell your spouse until the right time. Nonetheless, you should speak to a divorce lawyer early in the process to help you with a strategy and plan. It may be necessary to have these conversations with your spouse, without knowing, so you can speak with them about the divorce on your own timeline.
Only You Can Decide Whether to Tell Your Spouse
It is up to you to decide whether to tell your spouse that you are speaking with a divorce lawyer. There may be reasons why you want to keep the conversation confidential. In other cases, you may not want to surprise your spouse out of the blue by asking them for a divorce. Although the decision is solely yours, a divorce lawyer would give you advice about how to handle your own unique circumstances.
Some spouses may feel threatened if they know that you are speaking with a lawyer. They may even have time to prepare by taking potential steps to hide any assets. There may be valid reasons why you want to keep the fact that you have spoken to a divorce lawyer under wraps.
A Consultation Does Not Mean That You Have a Lawyer
When you speak to a divorce lawyer during an initial consultation, they are not yet your attorney. One does not become your lawyer until you sign an actual representation agreement. Thus, you have not necessarily hired a divorce lawyer if you have only spoken to one in a consultation. There may be no need to tell your spouse that you have hired a divorce lawyer early in the process because you have actually not done so.
Only Have Conversations When Your Spouse Would Not Know
If you do not want your spouse to know that you are speaking with a divorce lawyer, it is essential that you take steps to keep the conversations clandestine. Do not speak with your lawyer when you are either in the presence of your spouse or anywhere that you know they could be at the time. Then, you should make sure to have your meetings with them at a time when it would not arouse your spouse’s suspicion. If you are coming into a physical office, try to make an appointment at a time when you think that you will not be seen.
If, however, you are speaking with a lawyer over the phone, use a separate phone number and make sure to set up a time in advance to talk. You do not want to be in the presence of your spouse and have a lawyer’s number show up on your phone if they are calling you. Finally, if you are speaking with your spouse, you should avoid using terms that you may have learned from a lawyer, such as equitable division of property or the best interest of the child.
You Need to Plan Effectively When Speaking with a Divorce Lawyer
It can take some planning to have these conversations with a lawyer without your spouse finding out about them. Typically, you do not have to worry about ethical concerns. Your divorce lawyer could only speak with you if they have not already spoken with or agreed to represent your spouse. In addition, there is nothing that is per se wrong with getting legal help from a lawyer in advance of a divorce. You are merely acting to educate yourself and protect your interests ahead of time.
Contact the Marlton Divorce Lawyers at Burnham Douglass Today
The Marlton divorce lawyers at Burnham Douglass can help you prepare for your divorce as soon as you contact us. You can schedule a free initial consultation with one of our divorce lawyers by calling 856-751-5505 or filling out our online form. We have offices in Marlton and Northfield, New Jersey, and we serve clients in South Jersey, including Evesham Township, Cherry Hill, Camden County, Burlington County, and Atlantic City.