Telling your children about a divorce is difficult, no matter how old they are. There are different challenges involved when you are telling teenage children because they are better able to process their emotions and express them. However, just because a child is older does not mean that they will be automatically able to accept your divorce. Teenaged children come with a different set of considerations when you are communicating with them about a divorce. Preferably, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse need to work collaboratively on a strategy to tell your teenage child about the divorce and to deal with the aftermath.
Give Your Teenager Time to Process What Is Going On
When you are going to tell a teenager about a pending divorce, it is better that you give them some time to process what is going to happen. They should have at least several weeks’ notice to help them prepare. Chances are that your teenager would be able to figure out what is happening based on what they see and hear, but it is better that they hear it from you. Although it is preferable for teenage children to hear about a divorce from both parents together, whether you are able to have this conversation depends on the facts and circumstances of your situation.
Allow Your Teenager to Have Input When Possible
While your teenager may not necessarily have a say in your decision to divorce, they should have some input into what their life may be like after your marriage is over. One of the most important communication tips that you can heed is to listen to your teenager and what they have to say. They will be going through their own share of emotions because their lives are being changed forever. While your teenager may have specific things that they want to address, in many cases, they simply want to be heard and to have an outlet. Teenagers need to be prepared for what they are going to be facing, and they need information upfront.
Be Prepared for a Strong Reaction
Your child may have a strong reaction to the divorce. After all, their reality is about to change dramatically. Your teenager may even be angry at you and cast blame on you for what happened. It is essential that you not argue with them when their emotions may be raw. You need to be able to read your own teenager based on how they usually react to things to know how to respond. There are times when your teenager may want to talk, while there could be other times when they want to be left alone so they can process things on their own.
Telling your teenager about a divorce is not necessarily a one-time conversation. You should make it clear to them that the lines of communication will always remain open if they have any more questions in the future. You should be prepared for them to get back to you with anything that they want to know. You should check in with them periodically throughout the divorce process to make sure that they are okay or to see whether they have any questions.
Be Vigilant for Any Signs of Trouble
Be very alert for signs that your child is having trouble handling the divorce. If that is the case, you should make it clear to them that it is okay for them not to be okay. Your child should know that they can seek professional help if they are having trouble coping with the changes in their life. In that case, you should do everything in your power to get them counseling from a mental health professional to help make their path easier.
Contact the South Jersey Divorce Lawyers at Burnham Douglass to Learn More
When you are facing the impending end of your marriage, the South Jersey divorce lawyers at Burnham Douglass can help. Our divorce lawyers can assist you in formulating a strategy for the divorce and protecting your legal rights during the process. You can schedule a free initial consultation to speak with one of our divorce lawyers by contacting us online or calling us today at 856-751-5505. Our offices are located in Marlton and Northfield, New Jersey, and we serve clients in South Jersey-Marlton, Evesham Township, Cherry Hill, Camden County, Burlington County, Northfield, and Atlantic City.